I was one of those millions of little girls who grew up watching Miss USA and Miss America. I entered my first pageant when I was 21, and while I have never competed in the two famous national pageants, I have seen my fair share of sequins and hairspray. Watching Miss USA last night, I could not help but be disappointed that the pageant no longer had the magic and glamour it once held for me as a child. What's gone wrong? Somehow pageants are still trying to relive the glory days of the 1980's and missed the memo about time marching on. Here are some of my thoughts on what needs to change:
- Create a Role Model
Unlike Twilight where 2 hours of teen angst targeted at a rabid fan base created stars overnight, the 2 hours it takes to crown Miss USA is not enough to capture the country's attention and make the winner America's sweetheart. Other than the week before pageant night, the average American does not hear about Miss USA until a year later when the process starts all over again. If it is not pageant time, the only reason Miss USA is in the news is because of a scandal, which then must be argued makes her the wrong choice for Role Model of the Year. The reigning Miss USA spends her year promoting important organizations such as the USO and the Susan G. Komen for the Cure, but these actions go unnoticed by the general public because they are not headline making news. To be influential, Miss USA needs to be in the news, and to be in the news, Miss USA needs to be relevant.
- Capture the public's attention
Pageantry is alive and well in the United States just look at Lady Gaga and shows such as America's Got Talent where spectacle is the name of the game. Miss USA needs to shake up the format and step into the 21st century. I would love to see contestants compete on a reality show. I'm picturing America's Next Top Model meets The Apprentice. Divide contestants into teams, assign them tasks such as photo shoots and fundraising, and vote contestants off until you reach the final 15. The public needs to see these girls as working, thinking women and not pampered airheads in a bikinis.
- Make audience participation count
- Cheesy hosts + corny commentary = lame
Last night's pageant was best viewed on mute to avoid the hosts and fashion commentators who felt it was their duty to contribute to the pageant's hot mess. I would now like to recommend something revolutionary: Neil Patrick Harris. I think NPH should host Miss USA because he is funny and smart and a genius at making lame award shows cool. He even won an Emmy for hosting the Tony Awards, and if he can do that for Broadway's forgotten "Oscar night", he can do it for Miss USA. NPH can, also, perform for the evening gown competition and save the pageant organizers from embarrassing attempts at trying to be hip. Bonus points if Hugh Jackman co-hosts. Oh, and please get rid of the fashion commentary. Nobody needs to be told that the contestants are gorgeous or that the girls are nervous. Anybody with an ounce of commonsense already knows this.
- Celebrate diversity
Last time I checked the United States was one of the most diverse countries on Earth, but you would not know that by looking at past titleholders where the most diversity is in hair color. It's time the winners started looking like Serena Williams, Ellen Page, Selena Gomez, and Tara Lynn. There are millions of little girls who watch Miss USA and think that they are too short, too fat, and too ethnic to be beautiful.
- Make the swimsuit competition about about health not sex
This is not 1952, and Miss USA is no longer selling Catalina Swimwear. If Miss USA is supposed to be taken seriously as a public speaker and charity promoter, it might be a good idea to stop portraying her as an amateur stripper. If Miss USA is trying to encourage girls to be self-confident, then it might be nice to stop sending the message that equates sex appeal with self-worth. Dressing contestants in sweats and having them drop down and do push ups probably is not the best ratings idea, but let's find a way to make the swimsuit competition celebrate living a healthy lifestyle and not about the thinnest girl in the tiniest bikini.
- Explain how judging works
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but it would be nice to explain why Miss Hawaii does not make it past evening gown and Miss Alabama does. Just like ballroom dancing where good technique is only obvious to those who know what to look for, Americans need to be educated about what makes one contestant stand out in a crowd of beautiful women.
Did you watch Miss USA? What are your thoughts on beauty pageants?
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